Are YOU on your “To-Do” List?
How to be kind to yourself (and others)!
What is Self-Care?
The definition of “self-care” can vary greatly from person to person.
By the World Health Organization's definition, self-care means taking all the steps you can to take care of your physical health and well-being. This includes hygiene, nutrition, managing stressors, and seeking medical care if needed.
The University of Toledo offers a broader definition of self-care: “Self-care activities can range from physical activities such as exercising and eating healthy, to mental activities such as reading a book or practicing mindfulness, to spiritual or social activities such as praying or catching lunch with a friend. The important thing to remember about self-care is that it is about listening to what your mind and body need.” Aha! I think we might be on to something here!
Self-care DOES begin by listening to what our mind and body needs, but we must also honor what we hear with actions to meet those needs. To not do so, we betray ourselves. Our inaction results in not only not getting what we need, but it also exposes us to feel the weight of that betrayal emotionally. We must be loyal in caring for our true needs and make a pledge to live a lifestyle that will reward us handsomely for that loyalty.
Self-Care Crisis in Our Midst
There are many types of crises which impact us as individuals, families, and societies...from financial, to emotional, to the aftermath of natural disasters, to dealing with a significant loss or death, to even those of a technological nature. (Ugh, the internet is down, and I can’t pay my bills, or see my calendar, or get my work done, or connect with my friends! Yes, technological crises are really a thing these days!)
Whatever the genre, we’ve all experienced crises that breakdown or disrupt our normal daily activities and family functioning. When this happens in our lives, the first impact is generally on our personal needs. We tend to allocate time and energy to help care for others as the priority, but do we do the same for ourselves? As we struggle to deal with crises of any magnitude, who usually suffers the most? We do! We take it out on ourselves. Our own needs become subrogated to the growing needs of family members, friends, job requirements, etc.
Discerning Question: Though you may create long lists of all the things that need to get done, are YOU on your own To-Do list?
Obstacles to Appropriate Levels of Self-Care
There are many things that get in the way of setting ourselves as the priority equal to the needs of others. We tend to focus on other people's feelings, needs, and problems, and take care of others, often at our own expense.
I understand this dynamic all too well as the mother of a medically fragile, handicapped son. His needs are so great, mine generally pale in comparison. As a result, I often find my own self-care needs have a low priority, sometimes even the lowest priority, when the tasks exceed the time I have available. I allow my own needs to get kicked to the curb first! Have you ever done that?
Other possible reasons include:
· Belief that you are not worthy or deserving
· Belief that self-care is frivolous, over-indulgent, and/or downright selfish
· Belief that self-care is expensive
· Fear of the unfamiliar
· Prevented by established daily routines or relationship norms
· Lack of commitment or practice
I invite you to release all these limiting beliefs and join me in reversing this self-care crisis of our own making by vowing to really listen to the needs of your body and mind AND up-level your self-care routine.
Why Up-level Your Self-Care?
Putting your needs on your to-do list demonstrates good stewardship of the gift of self. “Self-care is never a selfish act. It is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others.” ~Parker J Palmer
When we are good stewards of the gift of self, there are rewards you can expect. Here are a few enticing reasons to uplevel our self-care: Joyful, thriving relationships; feeling purpose in life; a healthy body and peaceful mindset; and increased contentment in work, social activities, and hobbies.
Self-Care Success Concepts
Here are simple concepts to get you started:
· Be kind to yourself. Create a list of things that bring you joy and get at least one on your to-do list every day. Make sure the list includes your favorite essential oils that make you smile! My favorites include Wild Orange, Rose, and Frankincense applied topically or in the diffuser!
· Live in self-awareness and give yourself permission to address what comes up. Be mindful of your tendency to lower your own priorities and delay meeting your own needs. Get out your Jasmine essential oil for this one! “Above all the demands, responsibilities and people that demand our attention, Jasmine brings the focus back to your own needs.” ~Elements of Emotion, by Desiree de Lunae, L.Ac.
· Start small and be practical. “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” ~Robert Collier Apply a drop of Hawaiian Sandalwood over your heart and breathe in deeply. Hawaiian Sandalwood supports your ability to reflect on your divine nature and affirm how appropriate self-care will nourish you, body and soul. It can also help to release hesitancy to change your daily habits.
One final note: Self-care can be self-initiated but does not always have to be self-directed. Just because we prioritize our own self-care needs doesn’t mean that we neglect the needs of others around us. There’s a great deal of good that accompanies a balanced approach to fulfilling both our own needs and the needs of others.
You are worthy and deserving of allocating time and attention to your personal needs. Here’s a recipe of the Worthy & Deserving Blend shared with me by my dear friend, Jen Poulson!
Invest the time and resources to live your best life right now by committing to a more robust personal self-care routine! There’s a cost for waiting! Get started today!
Essential oils are safe, effective and very affordable. However, not all essential oils are created equal! Be an educated consumer and use only certified pure, tested grade essential oils for your family!
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. The products mentioned are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.